Florence’s So-Called Life, Season 2, Ep 1


In which Florence regales what happened during the break

(read in the voice of Florence, which sounds uncannily like a 14-year-old Claire Danes)

Wow. Having this Little Hairless Pup around has changed…well, not much really.

I’m still not allowed to sleep on the furniture.

I’m still not allowed to eat off the table.

Wiley’s still scared of storms.

And Bekah still makes me “sit” before I get to do an-y-thing.

flo & moi 2

So all my hopes that the Little Hairless Pup would usher in a new era of distractedness when Bekah and Lewis would leave deli meats unattended on the coffee table and pizza half-eaten on the floor…dashed. If anything, they are more vigilant.

The Little Hairless Pup is also not allowed to sleep on the furniture or eat off the table, so she’s really no help. She has all her own furniture. Just like me and Wiley. She eats…well, like a pup. You know.

Speaking of that though…have you ever tasted breast pads? Delicious. Such delicacies. I have gotten very stealthy about snatching them and hoarding them on my bed. Some taste better than others, oddly. The ones in the trash are usually more flavorful. And they are served in pairs.

flo & moi 1

The Little Hairless Pup and I are getting along better as well. For a while she was off limits and so she just didn’t, like, know how good of friends we would be.

But Bekah finally let me spend some time with her.

flo & moi 4

Notes so far: kisses are good and appreciated by all. Chewing Little Hairless Pup legs is not. I don’t get to play anymore if I chew the legs. Even if I wasn’t really chewing hard. Or even really chewing. More like… playfully holding.

flo & moi 3

I get it. She’s young. She’s not ready to play like Wiley and I play. I’ll give her a month or two and try it again, see how it goes. If I’ve learned anything in my life, it’s that every few months you get a clean slate and you might as well try to get away with all of the things that weren’t allowed two months ago.

You never know when your luck will change.

flo & moi 5